Time or the Lack of It.

Time.  There is never enough of it.  

I want to do so much, maybe too much.  I want to play the piano.  I want to workout (yes, I LIKE exercising).  I want to do Family History.  I want to study and learn.  I want to cook.  I want to sew.  I want to weed my gardens (OK, so not right now, but when the snow is gone). 

Typing it out it doesn’t seem like a lot.  Yet day in and day out I do everything BUT what is on that list.  What am I doing with my time?  Where am I spending it?  I think it is time to find out.

Excitement

I went to my email box today and found a Black Friday ad with something I have been wanting for months. 70% off beehive dinner ware, but only in the store. Great price, but is it worth the 30 mile drive on icy roads to get it?

Told dh about it and he decided to play devil advocate over the plates. What would I do with them? Where would I put them? What about the fine china we all ready have? I had answers. Use them for everyday dishes once I trust the kids not to break them. I have room, I just need to move a few things. And the china, well, we don't have a complete set AND I don't want the kids to break them.

That last question/answer got me thinking, how much of the china do we have? Went and counted. Answer: 7 dinner plates, 7 salad plates, and 8 bread plates, along with 5 cups and saucers we will never use. Next question: can we get more? Answer: yes. Cool. One more dinner plate and salad plate and I have serving for eight. Four more of the three and I can serve 12.

Then I wondered about great-aunt's china. I looked and looked again. Found out brand (W. S. George) cut (Lido) and pattern (Flower Rim). The pattern was the most difficult to figure out. Can I get more? Yes and I need 6 bread plates to go with the 12 dinner plates I have. I could also pick up 12 salad plates (and serving bowls, platters and a gravy boat if I wanted).

Forget the beehive plates, I will just add to what I have and I will then have two sets of nice dishes for family dinners and parties.

But that was just the beginning of my thoughts on the subject.

If I bought a fine china that is plain white or ivory, I could add that to what I all ready own. 8 sets of those would take me up to 16 sets, which would be dh and children all paired up. This is a good thing. Just mix my pattern with the plain and I am set to go.

But what about a everyday set to replace the plastic plates we now use? The plastic is great, they don't break, but they are, well, plastic. And, wow, are there a lot of cool patterns of china on ebay. Seen some great ones at D.I. too from time to time. Maybe I could buy one here and one there and collect them. But where would I put them and I really would rather USE what I have. (I really don't want to dust them.) What if I bought the china and collected them and used them as my everyday plates??? Then if the kids break one so be it, I'll just have to look for and buy another one.

It might look crazy as I might end up with not a single plate matching. But I think I could have a lot of fun looking for the plates. In many ways it would be a treasure hunt, and I like treasure hunts.

Spirng is on its way! How do I know????

Life is starting to speed up. It must almost be spring as that is THE busiest time of the year. I am starting everyday with a prayer that at any given moment of the day I will know what matters most and do that.

The high school did a musical, which closed last week. During its run I came recognize that I love the performing arts. That, along with the realization earlier that I was trying to live my life through my kids, has caused me to send my life in a different direction that were it was going. I have started taking piano lessons, again, and now need to practice 2 to 3 hours a day. I am working towards rebuilding my piano studio with students, on a very limited bases. I volunteered to help with the music for a community musical. I have not heard back, but that is OK. I at least made the effort. I also have let the costume person know that I would LOVE to help sew costumes for the musical. I hope she takes up that offer.

It is also State Solo time and three of the kids have solos that I am accompanying them on. That adds to the load for piano practice. I so hope my teacher understands when I come next week for lessons that I have not practiced Bach, Chopin, or Beethoven, but f. horn, trombone, and oboe accompaniments. My calling in the ward is ward choir accompanist and they are singing Sunday. It is not difficult, but I want it to be as close to perfect as I can get it for many different reasons. Again more time needed at the piano. It is also State Vocal Solo time and JD is doing one. I will play that plus, maybe, another for a class mate of his. I may have another other instrument solo. Time will tell on that. Again, more piano time. Don't get me wrong, I am so excited about all of this and in many ways wish I had more to do as this is where I want my piano skills to go. I don't want to be a soloist I want to to accompany the soloist.

I am working on a quilt for a fundraiser for JD's government class. It is a wall hanging/baby size quilt with nine long rectangles with snowmen and pine trees. The deadline for this to be done is two weeks away. That includes the quilting. I have five snowmen blocks pieced and need to appliqué eyes, noses, and buttons on them. Then to paper piece the trees and sash the whole thing add borders and quilt it. I have discover that quilting is play for me, a much needed break in my life right now. Just wish there was more hours to do it.

Just because I am not busy enough, I am subbing. I have been at the school for the last 5 days that they have held classes and will be there today. Half days, but still at school and that is time away from home. Don't get me wrong, I LIKE doing this. This is play for me in a lot of ways. It is also a way for me to reach a financial goal. In some ways I wish I was getting full days, some ways I am grateful that I am not. I need the time at home.

Now, if all of that was not enough, others think they have the right to put things on my calendar. Parent Teacher Conferences for E and D were Thursday. Middle school, multi classes and teacher, cattle call in the gym conferences at two different buildings. Just to add to it, the 6th Grade Band performed at the end of the conference time. Then there is the Five Stake Relief Society Enrichment Fireside with Barbra Thompson of the General Presidency tonight. I am looking forward to it. That is followed by a my Stakes Enrichment Meeting Saturday morning and this is where I am starting to have problems. Why they are having this activity the morning after the fireside I don't understand, and I have not asked. I am so torn. Do I support the Saturday activity, which is a community service event, or do I stay home so I can take care of family needs and community service projects I am working on???? I want to support the Stake R.S. Presidency. I want to have more time to practice. I need more time to quilt. I only have 24 hours and this Saturday is messy with other things like a temple session and a f. horn lesson that I need to be at so we can go over Jacob's solo with the teacher. Then there is the need to just be with my family. Andrew and Thomas are getting lost in all of this and they NEED some Mom time. What matters most??? I don't know and I am praying as hard as I can to understand.

So that is my life. So far no subbing jobs for next week. Good thing as I need to quilt and practice. Oh, and get the rest of my visiting teaching done. Time to get going.

He is doing great!

JD brought home a note about a film that the English Teacher will be showing in class. It is based on a novel they are reading, will be "cleaned up", and has been approved by all channels. At the time of its release it was rated R, and because of that needed parent permission. Those who don't get permission will be given another assignment to do. Umm...watch movie, easy, or do another assignment on an all ready packed week of homework???? Told my son my opinion and then told him I would sign which ever line he told me to, but it was up to him. This morning he handed me the note and I asked him which line do I sign. I was told to sign the one stating I was NOT giving my permission to watch the movie.

He is on over load right now with homework, Academic Team, Cedar Badge, and a Musical. How much extra work this assignment is going to cause him, I don't know. I do know he has struggled with the novel, and the reason given for showing the movie was to help the students understand the novel. But he prayed about it and he got an answer. Not the easy one, and that is what he is doing.

This mom is just tickled pink.

Just Please Accept It...

I don't like Christmas. It is true and I think, finally, I understand why.

As the days get shorter and shorter my mood gets darker and darker. It actually has a name, Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD. It is due to the lack of sunlight during the winter months. It even has treatments, but one first needs to recognize that treatment is need, which, finally, this year I have. The light box is on its way. In fact it is my Christmas present from my husband.

Now to understand how this relates to Christmas you need to remember that just days before the BIG day comes the longest night of the year. So each day, as everyone counts down to December 25, there is a little less sunlight in my life. Each day becomes a little more difficult to get through. While a shopper is out at mall celebrating the miracle of finding the perfect gift, I am home celebrating the miracle I got out of bed.

It is really hard to be "merry and bright" when the light, literally and figuratively, is leaving your life. It is hard to hear Christmas music when all the feelings associated with them is sadness. It is not that I don't rejoice in the reason for the season, I just don't have it within me to celebrate. So I have just learned to endure the month of December, putting up with all the well meaning comments from friends to get with the season and enjoy Christmas.

So please, let me be. Let me just endure the concerts, the hype, the parties. Don't expect me to find this time of the year to be "the most wonderful time of the year". Accept it. Come News Years Eve, with the light coming back, I will celebrate that the month is over, winter will end, and spring is on its way.

Thanksgiving

I love to cook. The joy of having a large meal, of spending all day in the kitchen, is fun. But in the past my need for everything to be perfect has come between the joy of the journey and the end there of. Rolls timed in such a way that they come out of the oven just as we are ready to sit down. The table set with matching everything. The food done just right. You know, perfect.

To have a perfect dinner is stressful, plain and simple. There is just no way around it. It takes planing and effort and a whole lot of cooperation. In the past, if the meal was not going just right, then save any brave soul who would dare enter the kitchen. Up at the crack of dawn to get everything going so that it would done at exactly the time set, no exceptions.

Until today and a head cold.

I have a nasty cold that took off yesterday. The day set aside to clean the house. To bake 7 pies and 1 cheesecake. Plus the roll dough made, the red cabbage cooking, and the turkey breast brining. But when you feel lousy, all best laid plans get booted out. The roll dough got done. The turkey is brining. The red cabbage is cooked. The cheesecake got done. But the pies, nope did not happen. Even with all the help of the teenagers, it did not get done.

So this morning we made pies. I made the fillings, most of them before I went for a walk.JC made the pie crusts. D got the graham cracker crusts done. ND and AW rolled out dough and "made" a pie each. E did the topping for yet another. All the pie making ended about noon, and then I put the turkey in. So it wont be done at 2:00 this afternoon. The reality is no one is going anywhere for another 24 hours, so does it have to be done by 2:00??

As I mentally backed off from my need to have a "perfect" Thanksgiving I found I had a perfect morning with my children. Working with JC to get just the right crust was needed boost to him. Helping TH and AW crack eggs, and even letting them do it....it was a good thing. It was mommy time spent with children that are growing up just too fast. Teaching of skills that will last long after this day is done.

When all is said and done, I am having a perfect Thanksgiving. For what is this day but a celebration of what we are grateful for, and for me that is my family. A day with my family, filled with laughter and giggles. What could be more perfect?